So Repressed We Can't Even Enjoy Our Own Food Orgasm

Ever notice how every time you dine - be it with your family or with a group of friends, whether you're getting anxious to taste again the sheer perfection of your Mother's home made pizza or what you ordered at the newest and hippest restaurant, there's always someone who has to try and count the carbs, or wince at how much fat they're eating?  I know many have equated food with sex and you'll know you've done it when you groan aloud after a bite of a perfectly grilled filet mignon, or sucked a little long on your finger after scraping up that last bite of Tuxedo Chocolate Cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory.  You don't have to say anything.  I've had the mouth orgasm and so have you.  You can deny your pleasure, but we all know you're lying. 

Still, when you are sitting there after weeks of pining, finally about to feed yourself the best fry in the city dipped in white truffle aioli and someone mentions carbs, it's akin to when your lover brings up his/her ex lying there naked in bed with you.  You don't invite someone into the bed that isn't even in the room.  It's a violation of intimacy, a rude awakening most foul.  How do you concentrate on your orgasm or anyone else's after THAT?  You can't.  It's ruined.  So is the French fry... with the white truffle aioli... the one you waited weeks to get to.  Did I mention the white truffle aioli?  White truffle?  You just DON'T ruin white truffle aioli just like you don't intentionally ruin sex. 

So what is behind a person's desire to ruin their own dinner?  Is it guilt or is it self-flagellation?  Is the person just feeling that horrible about indulging or ruining their diet?  Does it make the food more delicious to them to be reminded it's naughty?  Or is it a quiet, manipulative scolding to the fat person or a Machiavellian form of emotional abuse?  I don't really feel I'm being scolded by my friends and loved ones, but I do feel emotionally abused at every turn.  Why do we as a people trash every meal we eat with negative feelings and guilt?  Does it really make us feel better?  Maybe it does for some folks.  I don't feel better though, I feel worse.  I feel interrupted.  Pleasure and fun and camaraderie and sharing just went out the window.  I was laughing and now I'm quietly counting everything I ate the whole last week to justify the fries I've waited weeks to have.  I'm reminded of my fatness and now I'm depressed and angry, I try to shake it off by eating more fries than I might have originally because now I'm feeding an angry self - that hole that is never filled.  Now I'm abusing myself.

I was raised in a culture where food is everything and sitting down to have that communal meal with friends or family or both, is a very special and very sacred thing.  Just like sex.  Yes, even sex driven purely by lust and not necessarily of a romantic sort.  It's still takes two, therefore you're sharing - your communing, you are being intimate and you are focusing on the experience.  You don't stop in the middle and talk about how you're going to go to confession afterwards.  You don't interrupt the exploration.  So why do we do it when we're dining?

I don't know all the answers, I just know it's unhealthy.  I don't want to be reminded every time I eat that I'm fat.  I want to explore and taste and experience and moan aloud or sigh contentedly.  I often eat lunch alone as it's the only surefire guarantee no one will say 'carbs' or 'fat' while I'm eating a salad or god-forbid a gluten free crepe.  I can sigh contentedly as I sip on my tea or coffee and read a book. 

So, in closing I would like to say... Just as I know you wouldn't stop in the middle of a screaming crescendo to discuss STDs or pregnancy, please remember this... If you aren't eating carbs or don't want carbs, or feel guilty because you ate some bloody effing carbs, please don't bring it to the table. 
Oh, and please leave the word 'fat' out of all conversation.  Some oils are good for us cysters as we need those fats for proper hormone synthesis and even if we are splurging on some bad fat that night, leave us alone or we'll bring up all those lovers you took into your bed that you probably shouldn't have. 

Oh.  Oh.  Oh.  Mmmmmmmmmm!
Eat well.  Love well.  Good Night darlings!!!